Backstory: Typically when I create a new site background, I just scavenge a shot from the net crediting the photographer on the image. Not the greatest solution, but not the worst. As I was scouring teh netz for CX shots to poach, everyone I found was someone I knew through Twitter. For once, it didn’t feel right to simply grab a shot w/out asking first. As I was about to DM Joe for permission to pimp use his image, my brain made big thoughts. A thought bubble said, “Why not do this as a regular feature?” Why not call attention to a photographer I like by making one of their shots a featured background? My brain was onto something. Another bubble appeared, “Why not convert this post fuel into a mini-interview as well?” Winning! Check out the big brain on Boredom! So I came up with a set of 5 standard questions to ask each photographer I feature.

5 Questions With: focuses on cycling photographers whom I think are pushing the envelope. In a field rife with traditional race documentation, these snappers not only see the race they capture the race. I intend to celebrate them with this series.

I hope you enjoy this first edition with Vancouver-based Joe Sales.

Tell us about the featured shot:

The image is from the 2010 USA Nationals in Bend and features Barry Wicks with about 3 laps to go riding his guts out to 6th overall. There were so many interesting characters at the run-up that I hung around that spot for at least a full lap. I had shot the stairs off to the left side for a lap and then I went down to the bottom of the stairs to try and get a different angle of the awesome spectators and racers. The last two Nationals in Bend were really great for crowds, easily the best of the 8 or so USA cross nationals I’ve been too It helps that Gumby showed up.

What got you into photographing cycling?

I’ve always both had a camera and been a bike person but until a few years ago I never really gave much real thought to cycling photography. About 6 years ago I crashed my cross bike really hard while training with some juniors and I broke my left thumb and destroyed my right shoulder as well as getting a big concussion. I had to have two surgeries over the course of a year which meant I was off the bike for a long time. As part of my convalescence I bought myself a DSLR and took it to all the cross races I was missing. Hardly anyone had a digital camera then and I began helping out the junior RAD Racing Team with images for grant and sponsorship requests. My pictures were terrible but I was hooked and started to learn more about photography. As I progressed and improved opportunities started to come my way I’ve been had some great experiences behind the camera the last couple of years.

My primary career is being a dad. This year marks my 21st year as a full time domestique to my wife. Photography really helped me keep my head up when I was dealing with my crash injuries and not being able to ride my bike and at the same time it allowed me to stay connected with the cycling community in a new way. As my kids get older I have more time to dedicate to photography and now almost all my spare time is spent either taking photos or learning about photography. My idea of a perfect day is riding with my kids and friends, carrying a camera and stopping to take pictures. My kids always tease me and say I use the camera as an excuse to stop and catch my breath on a ride. I’m not doing as much race photography lately but I’m always taking pictures and I’m currently trying to decide which photographic direction I should move towards next.

What are your favorite cameras/lenses for shooting races?

I don’t really have a favorite camera or lens, I like just about every camera I’ve ever used for one reason or another but my lens tastes have evolved considerably. Right now I pretty much only shoot what are considered normal lenses, the equivalent of a 50mm on a full frame digital body or a 35mm film camera. About 90% of the images I’ve shot in the last year were with a normal lens. I prefer images that don’t draw too much attention to the equipment used and put the emphasis as much as possible on content and subject. Also, I don’t like carrying around tons of a gear which makes a 50 mm prime really attractive to me.

I shoot film and digital. Digital allows me to take chances and film makes me be more deliberate. My digital cameras are Canons, I’ve been using 1D bodies because the weather seals are awesome. I’ve shot in torrential rain and they just keep working, a feature that is really ipmortant for cyclocross. Digital is great for a lot of reasons including containing costs, super high iso performance and instant feedback but I also really like film. This last year I’ve been shooting 35mm, medium format, 4X5 and instant film. My favorite film camera is my Konica Hexar RF. Its a sweet little camera, really versatile and a joy to use. I try to have it with me all the time. The camera I shoot the most is probably my phone. Cell phone cameras are quickly becoming quite good. I take thousands of phone pictures and I really enjoy connecting with friends and family through image based social media.

I’m not immune to new camera hype, there are a bunch of cameras I’d love to try to see what I can do with them but I don’t think it matters that much which camera you use just as long as you know the strengths and weakness of what you have and use it accordingly.

What’s your post-processing routine?

I use Apple’s Aperture for all of my processing. I always shoot RAW but sometimes when I need to output a gallery really fast I shoot both RAW and jpegs at the same time and everything always goes straight into aperture. In aperture I sort, tag and rank my images and then I start to process files. If I want black and white images I export to a plugin, usually NIK silver EFEX pro. I rarely use photoshop. All my film scans go straight into aperture as well. I don’t do a lot of post, I’m just not into it that much. With so much readily accessible and relatively cheap processing software its tempting to over-work an image but I really prefer images that are subtly processed and as honest as possible. My biggest struggle is getting digital colors the way I want them. That is one of the appeals of film for me, I really like the look of color film and I know pretty much exactly what the film I choose will look like when I scan it. I have quite a bit of black and white on my main website but I actually have a strong preference for color images and I’m working hard at being a better color photographer.

Any tips for capturing the perfect cycling shot?

The perfect shot? I don’t have a direct answer to this question. For me what is great about cross, more than anything, is the proximity of the riders to the spectators and the relationship and vibe that develops between them over an hour long race. I love this aspect of cross and lately most of my cross pictures have been about this interaction and connection that takes place during a race, from a single hand gesturing over the tape to a mob of people screaming at a back-bencher. That’s what the picture you have featured here is all about; people on and off the bike having a great time celebrating human physical achievement on two wheels. What I often see in the fans and feel myself is the emotion and excitement of an adrenalin dump that you get when racers are really hanging it out and racing at their absolute hardest. When you photograph anything you are telling people about yourself, what it is you value and what kind of a person you are. Same with when you value one image over another. All I really want my bike images to say is: bikes and bike people are awesome. So I suppose my suggestion would be to simply think about what is you want to show people about cyclocross. For me it’s a beautiful and exciting sport full of interesting people.

Final thoughts and links

There were a surfeit of images I wanted to include in this post, but that would’ve rendered Joe’s portfolio unnecessary. Yet, I still had a tough time deciding which ones I wanted to include. Then I realized the dilemma was due to the fact most of his shots were indicative of what I’m looking to convey with the 5 Minutes With series. Joe conveniently describes this perfectly on my last, and admittedly fluff (but nevertheless effective), question. I guess I chose well.

Please make a point to visit Joe’s portfolio site, and if you appreciate his work let him know on Twitter.
Website: joesales.ca
Twitter: @JoeySales
Tumblr: thejoesales.tumblr.com
Instagram: JoeySales

If you haven’t seen J-Pow’s cyclocross flavored video series yet, then recognize and realize you live a sad insular life. ‘Cuz it’s like a hit from a sunshine filled crack pipe—quick and addictive, but w/out the whole front teeth loss thing. During these dark times as the UCI Overlord presides over our beloved sport like Sauron over Middle Earth, it’s seeds like these where we glean the raw unrefined joy of cycling in the competitive realm. Jeremy Powers truly hearts bike racing. He loves each facet, be it positive or negative, and shares it with us in small poignant doses.

What I find truly refreshing (no snark), is that he lets it all hang out. Sometimes awkward (freestyle rapping), but mostly brilliant (racing, giving interviews, etc.), “… it’s like a hit from a sunshine filled crack pipe—quick and addictive, but w/out the whole front teeth loss thing. “you get a rough-cut version of what goes into Jeremy’s life as a pro cyclocross racer. For season two, even though his racing started slowly as he wasn’t finishing to his liking, he wasn’t afraid to show how it affected him. The ending of E3 felt more like The Empire Strikes Back than a candid CX documentary. In E4, after crossing the line 2nd at GP Gloucester you could definitely sense how much Powers wanted this win as the camera followed him while he rolled silent in his thoughts.

E4′s highlight, though, is the final bit with CX superstar Ted King. I heard a bit of the “poser in the Liquigas kit” story on Twitter, but it was hilarious to see those two tell it.

The next installment of BTB should be exciting as J-Pow finished a fantastic 10th at the Plzen Cross World Cup.

While the majority of us may be jaded by the endless deluge of “behind the scenes” or “real life” shows these days, cycling fans don’t get much like what Behind The Barriers offers. The last one who did give us an exclusive, all-access, behind the scenes series turned out to be less than what we thought. Or more directly, it turned out to be a highly polished yellow turd.

And with that, I present:

As the inevitable post-TDF blues sets in while waiting for the inevitable post-TDF bombshell positive to drop, I’ve decided to wax lyrical and type some nonsense. In my not-so-humble opinion, what we witnessed was, by far, the cleanest least dirty Tour in the past 2 decades. And by least dirty, I mean: either there weren’t as many dopers, or it was still rampant but they all were micro-dosing their way to spectacular mediocrity (or a mix of the two). Whatever the case may be, the race was exciting for all three weeks until it was brutally obvious the skinny Schleck still sucked at time trialling. We saw failed bids for glory by not just the lesser teams, otherwise known as French, but the GC contenders as well. Finally, they were willing to lose it all in order to win. Here’s a rundown of what I can remember…

Obviously Cadel

With this win (which I’m huge fan of), Evans can now can say in an excruciatingly high-pitched voice, ”Suck me!” to all the wheelsucking-accusing-naysayers (besides, Bottle’s WSLs are much more pronounced). That boy raced the cleft off his chin this year winning a road stage, pulling the peloton across the mountains 2x, and crushing the dreams of a teenage boy in the final TT— Cadel is the man, mate! And considering all the near misses he’s been through, I can’t imagine a more worthy and deserving Tour champion. Except, of course, ★Lance Armstrong★.

DosSchleckies™

The Frandy twins proved all doubters right by demonstrating what #trueracing means: to attack with the ferocity of a wet towel. If they weren’t breaking their necks pining for each other, they were #truewhining about the parcours. Luckily Andy is only 15. He’s got plenty of time to come in second for the rest of his career. But hey, I keed. The brothers did make the final podium. So maybe, just maybe, in a land far, far away—Andy will climb that top step.

Voeckler

Unbelievable. He. Did. It. Again. It would’ve been a 2004 redux, if not for a few eyebrow-raising moments when he was covering Andy and Bertie’s attacks with shocking aplomb. However, we once again were treated to le Petit Blanc’s poop-grind climbing style and subsequent sufferface in the Alps. His freakishly tight grip on the yellow jersey was only matched in tenacity by the sheer strength it took for his sphincter not to blow his innards into his bibshorts, as he repeatedly dug deeper than ever to climb onto the podium.

Albuterol Clentador

I confused the **** out of my followers as I transformed from a vehement Anti-Bertie, to actually calling him Alberto. I think my softening can be traced to the moment he was Karpets-burned by the Iteraean hit squad. When he struggled in the mountains I nearly sent my 50¢ a day in to sponsor him as my doe-eyed monetary foster-child. Finally, a futile long distance attack spiced with a backhand to a spectator, followed by zero complaints and only congratulations for those who defeated him sealed the deal. However, I’m still calling him Clenty until CAS decides his fate in 2015.

Thor for the Memories

See THOR SMASH stage. See THOR ROAR! See THOR HONOR maillot jaune! See THOR EPIC SMASH mountain stage in WC stripes. See THOR AUDITION (via: @nyvelocity) for BMC.

Hoogie and Flecha

Versus immediately licked their lips in anticipation for next year’s 2010 TDF promo spots the moment these two were jettisoned from the break by a motorist enraged that “those damned cyclists” weren’t riding in single file. Snarkfree: it was truly inspirational to see those two continue in the Tour after that horrific incident.

Jeremy Roy

Roy made the break in 32 of 21 stages during this Tour. Kid mad the futile breaks more interesting by making them less futile-er. Deserved an honorary Maillot Jaune on general principle, but instead was bestowed the Maillot l’Amour by the adoring French public and @FestinaGirl.

Mark Cavendash

Meh. He won, he said some stuff, he lost, he said some stuff, he rode in gruppetto, he said some stuff… In the end, you can’t deny the Manxshaw isn’t fast.

The Crashes

The roads of the 2011 Tour de France simultaneously ended both aspirations and careers of many of the GC contenders and race protagonists. The press and Twitter were all atwitter searching for an explanation behind all the crashes. Why, because so many “big names” scattered themselves into le ditches? No one would’ve batted an eye if the majority of those who abandoned were from the Saur-Sojasun team. My feeling is the main reason for all the crashes were accidents. Especially Karpets and Contador! *puts down phone slowly after receiving call from Russia*

Twitter

I’ve done 4 or so Tours on Twitter, and this by far was the most cracked-out, meme-saturated, pontificated edition yet. We’ve honed our crafts of snark, observations, insight, hate and love into 140 characters (except for you deck.ly outcasts) of perfection. It would be too herculean of an effort to justly include and highlight all the fantastic tweeps in the Twitter #cycling community, so I won’t. I will, however, say that it was a pleasure serving with you all, and thanks to all my followers who interacted and/or put up with my incessant #tdf blasts.

Now onto the rest of the season.

Let’s get right to the point. I didn’t want to write this. I’d almost want to read nothing but Dalai Lama “enlightened” @FakeFloydLandis tweets than write something about this year’s Tour de France. But for some reason I feel obligated to fulfill the insatiable appetite of my ever-increasing stable of fans. Plus @_Gavia_ pushed me over the edge. So with little or no ingredients, I’m going to attempt to serve up a steaming hot plate of French snark.

The Pontificator

Kicking things off with the post soundtrack. Replace ‘Percolator’ with ‘Pontificator’ and you’re done.

#DopingsTour2011

@Bikezilla1 said it first and best, this Tour will be the most heavily doped race in years. Under the direction of the UCI, the potential for blood-induced equine fireworks is as sure a bet as Bottle racing sans panache. The past few days is proof as we’ve seen Lotto and BMC caught with their soigneur “man-pris” down around their ankles. The introduction of the now legendary TB-500 extends the “what’s next” doping timeline deep into the future. Not to be outdone, Quick-Step got a cavity search by Le Po-Po today due to an ongoing investigation in part by the well-acronymed OCLAESP. Yes, the same groupement of letters who were trying to insert themselves deep within Astana’s backside during the ’09 Tour.

So what does all this mean? If you still have a yellow band on your Twitter avatar, it means that The Shack can do no wrong, and everyone else are traitorous reprobates ruining the Sport That Lance Built. If you’re in the, “Lance is a traitorous reprobate that ruined the sport you love and each race your heart clings to the delicate hope that the rider you’re cheering is of the chaste variety” camp, good luck with that.

The Pontificator’s picks

Where do I stand? Well, obviously Lance is a traitorous reprobate, but Boredom’s heart has hardened to the idea of hope. While I’m actually optimistic the sport is making gains in the anti-doping fight, I’m definitely not surprised when a racehorse is revealed to have lived their past life as a donkey. I could care less who wins—I simply want a race. This past Giro was rendered impotent from the moment Clenty first attacked, proving to the world he was on Aigle Performance Program for the Gifted and Enhanced. If we’re to bear witness again to aberrations of nature, please let the rest of the field have access to the same training regimen.

So there, I wrote something. Vive le Tour!

Crédits d’image

Images courtesy of: AP and Reuters via Daylife

Here at the Cycleboredom offices, we’re suffering from a little Openingsklassieker hangover. Between Omloop Het Nieuwsblad and Kuurne-Brussel-Kuurne we drank hard and deep from dirty Classics wellspring. Actually, I think most of the damage was due to lost feeds and the Tweetzkrieg. If you’ve never watched a cycling race with the obligatory Twitter chaser, then you’re a sad individual lost in the purgatorial land of GeoCities.

The Tweetzkrieg is the running commentary on Twitter as a race is unfolding. It’s fast, furious, and definitely too witty for Vin Diesel. Some directly regurgitate the race (good for those holding the shopping-bags of their significant other), some provide incredibly insightful commentary that shame P&P and the Duffer (@cyclocosm), and then there is the group engulfed in the flaming rocket fuel of sarcasm and hyperbole, spinning wildly out of control damaging everything in its path.

Followers are lost (known as the wekelijk) and followers are gained (known as the krachtig) during these furious moments. There’s usually a leader (@nyvelocity) that sets it off, while others react to or attempt futilely to out snark the leader. It’s not unlike watching an Imperial Galactic Cruiser blazing across the sky followed by the flaming remains of an instantly and repetitively shot down Rebel Fleet. Although, from time to time there is a single perfect shot (@mmmaiko), a bullseye of such lethal accuracy that everything stops, save the graceful death arc of its victim, and a sweet, sorrowful anime soundtrack.

After a description like that, how can you not participate in the ras dag Tweetzkrieg?

Openingsklassieker!

Apparently people won the two Semi-Classics we were so amped to watch illegally. Reporting that isn’t my job. But watching them battle it out on the cobbled bergs of Belgium, spoke racing in a language I’m far more familiar with than the desert flats. As a long time fan of racing, it traditionally wasn’t until the semi-classics kicked off that the season began. For the longest time, there wasn’t any racing in January, and barely anything in the beginning of February. As fun as the TDU was, and how important the UCI wants us to believe in Oman and Qatar, they still feel like expansion teams you can’t sink your heart’s teeth into for fear of them disappearing.

Omloop and Kuurne are like appetizers for the main events of Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris-Roubaix. They’re made of the same ingredients, and in the Ronde’s case—parts of the the same route. But they are no less exciting as individual races. Okay, KBK ain’t that interesting since it devolves into a sprint classic, which is essentially just a long kermesse (crit). Not to take anything away from Chris Sutton’s win, but when you’re in the land of the beautiful painful breakaway, why destroy it with the speed lottery? Omloop Het Nieuwsblad sets the tone for the rest of the Spring, as you’re able to see your favs flexing their leg and brain muscles as they gauge their form in a true Classics setting before The Show.

@Vaughters engages

Leading up to the weekend word had it that there would be an exercise in futility—otherwise known as a pelotonal protest against the might UCI. The radio debate reared its ugly head again and it looked as though our first real race of the season would be nullified if the teams didn’t heed the warnings of cycling’s governing body. Ironically enough, the team most vocal about defying the ban and using race radios during the Omloop was Rabobank—the eventual winners with Sebastian Langeveld taking the win at the line from defending champ, Juan Antonio Flecha.

But that’s not the point of this so far pointless paragraph. Garmin-Cervélo manager, Jonathan Vaughters joined in on several Twitter conversations/debates with some of cycling’s more vocal tweeters. This is a regular occurrence for JV. He’s willing to jump into the turgid faceless waters of Twitter and deal with come what may. Being on the frontline of the anti-doping war as a leader, as well as a controversial element of the murkiness, he’s constantly subjected to a multitude of questions, assaults, accusations, and approvals. All of this is dealt with aplomb. It’s refreshing to have insight from one of the shot callers in the pro peloton. Thanks JV.

Originally thought the Tour of California being scheduled simultaneously with the Giro would have been a fail of catastrophic proportions. It turns out it wasn’t. Today’s stage 1 finish was crazy, chaotic, and exciting. The field was huge, lots of big stars pushing their teams, and the crowds were massive! Cav took it in the end, but JJ looked to have a little juice in the tank to make it interesting. Sad to see Boonen go down, as well as Chris Horner and Stuey O’Grady.

Epicness

In the Giro we’re witnessing some of the more exciting stages I’ve witnessed in a Grand Tour in a long time. Stage 7 traversing the strade bianche could only be summed up with the overused word, epic. It was a day that legends are born. The fact that Cadel Evans took the stage wearing the rainbow stripes of the World Champion took it over the top in its epicness. Yes, epicness.

Needless to say I’m back to being full of amore for the sport of cycling. I’m able to cheer riders again, albeit with reservation as we can never be sure that they’re clean. But at least I’m actively rooting again.

Personal Bici

On the personal bike side, I’m actually riding regularly. Right now it’s been 2 days a week at best, but that’s the best it’s been for a long time. Soon enough I’ll schedule a few days a week to commute as well, so that should keep the process of decreasing my waistline in proper order. Unfortunately for me, I’m getting older and my recovery time is longer than it was 2 years ago. Legs feel stuffed longer, but I’m hoping that will change as I gain more form. I’m guessing that I completely atrophied at one point so my legs were at a feeble level of strength when I started Spring ’09.

I started yet another Tumblr account, this time for this site. The official Cycleboredom Tumblr is live, and I’ve done no HTML/CSS customization (except for some font families). I’ve been wanting to just post images, and other randomness that doesn’t need a full blown WP post like this. So I cooked one up for meself!

If everything goes well, sometime next month I should have my Gunnar built. Can’t believe it’s taken so long. I have 9 speed 105 ready for it if you can believe that, but I’m in no position to buy anything new. In those 2 years off from cycling, I managed to acquire a daughter. That’s where all our money goes now. Occasionally I’m able to get something for the bici collection. Lately, everything has gone to clothing considering I’m wearing some kits from 2001! If I have time, I’ll document the build and the outcome. I’m sure the report on how 105 works will be exhilarating to say the least.

Please visit the Giro presentation gallery on Cyclingnews.com.

Please visit Roberto Bettini’s image gallery on Cyclingnews.com!

Disclaimer of laziness

I’ve been writing this post very slowly. Unfortunately the Tour doesn’t stop for my inability to finish a task. So this covers several days in a non-coherent, semi-babbling style. Enjoy.

Life before sport

I won’t lie, I got caught up in Stage 14 race drama like everyone else, but you have to step back and realize that none of that compares to the tragedy that transpired on the road. It’s hard to wrap your head around someone losing their life at an event like the Tour de France but it happened. It can definitely put things into perspective quickly.

The race starts. Again.

After the first week of racing and drama, the middle stretch was borderline dismal. Hooray for Cavendish. Hooray for Hushovd. Boo to the race organizers that decided that several flat stages and two mountain stages with downhill finishes were a good idea. It seemed like the race was on auto-pilot.

The 5-second rule

I tried approaching this section of the post from an objective, non-judgmental point of view. But who the **** wants any more of that? For me though, there ARE gifts in the Tour. For someone of George’s stature and tenure, a yellow flavored jersey certainly was in order.

From what I remember, Astana let the gap go every time. When Ag2r finally got their act together and started pulling the break back, they still weren’t able to close it to the point George would lose it. With a very short distance to go it looked good for Hincapie. The we saw Garmin on the front. This is were all the interpretations come into play.

Luckily the stage is over and the Tour rolled on. Unfortunately it looks like some friendships were severely damaged in the process. We’ll see how this turns out.

Two days of some old, nasty LA

Yesterday (Stage 16) and today (Stage 17) the peloton was served some nasty, crusty Lance Armstrong that he himself pulled out from the back of the fridge. Both times were from positions of tactical defensive riding in the name of the team. And both times were savage accelerations that had us all Tweeting “LAAAAAANCE!!!” as fast as our fingers could produce the message.

Today’s drama was the idiotic “attack” that the wunderkind Contador attempted. The acceleration dropped Klodi, distanced Armstrong even more, and jeopardized Astana’s possibility of having a 3-way with the podium. There were some Tweets quoting news sources that said that Contador doesn’t give a **** who comes in second or third and I completely agree. With the way that the Astana team wants Bruyneel out of the way and wants to form another team around Vino and Conty it’s possible that AC is already in that mindframe. Seems like some bad people to make enemies of. You enjoy your time in the bunch next year Contador…

Oh, and the Schleck brothers put everyone in the hurt basket including Contador. Guess that’s important to say. But you’re not here for the news though. So what would make this more interesting? That’s RIGHT! Phil Ligget said that Contador was in the middle of a Luxembourg sandwich! Brilliant.

Team _________

Which brings us to the next step of that last paragraph. Now that the Johan Bruyneel For Make Benefit Glorious Astana Cycling Team will no longer be directed by its namesake, JB has confirmed that he Lance, Levi, and “the redneck” Chris Horner will form like a spandex-clad Voltron. Or they’ll just wear spandex with some new sponsors on it and tear the arse outta the Tour next year.

Of course none of this is 100% confirmed, but we at least know that there will be a team, Lance is on it, and Lance will not ride for anyone other than Johan. We find out tomorrow who the sugar-daddy is. Hopefully someone with a decent color scheme…

UPDATE: As of 11:30 EST (7/22) it looks as though we might be cheering Team Radio Shack. Radio Shack? At least they changed their logo sorta recently. The circle ‘R’ isn’t half bad. Might look good on a jersey. White with red/black accents. Hmmmm…

Here’s hoping

What will we see in tomorrow’s TT on Stage 18? Hopefully a less-than-stellar Frank Schleck dropping big chunks of tarmac-time to Lone Star and relinquishing his shaky hold on the 3 step of the podium. That is a distinct possibility. A harder trail to follow would be an Über on-form Armstrong driving a Trek brand time-seeking missile right up the über-skinny backside of Andy Schleck reclaiming his second spot on the GC. I don’t see that happening, but stranger things have happened – and they’ve happened to(for) Lance.

We can all hope that Contador pulls a Rasmussen during the final TT. Oh wait, not THAT Rasumussen – heheh. I’m talking about the one who couldn’t stay on his TT rig on the second to last day of the Tour. You thought I was talking about the doping Rasmussen. Contador? Never…

We’ll see tomorrow!

Images courtesy of Cyclingnews.com,  AFP, and Roberto Bettini. Please don’t tell them.

El Pistolero v The Boss

“You know you done ****ed up, don’t you? You know it, don’t you? You know you done ***ed up.” – Detective in Menace II Society. I always think in movie quotes. Whether or not the scene parallels what I’m talking/writing about doesn’t matter – the words ring true. Contador ****ed up. Whether or not his attack ends up sealing his ultimate doom (yes! DOOOOOOM!) doesn’t matter. Lance is going to make his life a living hell. He is The Boss – Mr. Big. He’s got back deep like a baby seal (Wu-Tang!) and people prepared to help him when needed. Whatever happens, it certainly will be interesting to say the least. Unfortunately that’s not for nearly a week. Which brings me to…

Dear TDF stagery maker-uppers, WTF?!

The first block of stages before the rest day were full of spicy goodness like a Chipotle Moe’s Burrito! Well except for the last two “MOUNTAIN” stages. I’ve always felt that crossing mountains only to have the finish in the valley below to be a waste of a good mountain (unless of course Beloki is in the race!). This year we’ve had two and they came back to back! This effectively quieted all the great race intrigue of the first week and nulled the GC contest to a few futile attacks and absurdities.

Unfortunately we have to endure nearly a week of sprinting/escaping until the freaking 15th stage for any truly shattering GC changes. They decided to have two crappy eunich-style mountain stages followed by blah. Although stage 13 seems to have some balls to it considering the summit of the last climb comes relatively close to the end of the stage. That crap on stage 9 of having the summit nearly at the halfway point of the stage needs to never, ever happen again. Ever.

Leave Phil alone!

After reading several Tweets, and a bit by one of my favorite Tour posts so far by Competitive Cyclist re: Phill Ligget I just have to say – back off! Of course I have a soft-spot for him and Paul Sherwen since they’ve been the voice of the Tour for so long. It’s a comfort to hear these guys talk about cycling when you compare them to the others out there. Although it sounds like David Harmon and the loquaciously effervescent Sean Kelly are giving them a run for their Euros. No one can match the Phil and Paul show for their sayings! You can usually predict when they’re about to spout one out. You could even make a game out of it.

Phil is forgetting some riders, and miss-naming others, but there’s two things that make this a non-issue for me. One, everyone’s coverage makes mistakes. From the online text coverage to the color commentary, these people have to make quick calls on 190 riders at the start of Le Tour. And two, these 190 riders are all wearing helmets and sunglasses! Which means you have to make snap judgement calls using size, riding style, and vaguely visible attributes to dicern their identity while flying along at 30+ mph. This usually happens mid-stage when NOTHING OF IMPORTANCE HAPPENS (at least any more)! A missed call on a sprint bonus? Chill the **** out! They’ll get it to you in a minute. Very rarely is a bunch sprint miscalled and Paul usually catches it anyway. Those two got each other’s backs. Rant over.

Versus coverage…

Oh dear lord of god there are a lot of commercials. But between them comes the ****ing TOUR DAY FRANCE! You don’t see anyone else scrambling to cover our beloved spandex-fest do you? That pretty much rests my case.

Oh, and speaking of the Tour Day France Bob “Bobke” Roll is the man! How could you hate listening to a wordsmith who gives birth to phrases like: “Lance Armstrong is the eye of the hurricane and he’s headed straight for the Jan Ullrich trailer park!” Sweet, sweet genius.

Then there’s the race for 4th!

My prediction (which I already boldy Tweeted) is that the podium will have Contador, Armstrong, and Leipheimer on it, just not necessarily in that order. That Astana team is too powerful not to dominate at least the top two if not all three podium steps. The rest of the team will be in up there as well, but they’ll have to stand on that fake-yellow-jersey-brick-road-thingy sticking out the backside of it.

-Although… I would like to see Andy Schleck make the podium if possible. That kid’s alright in my book.
-Bradley Wiggins is riding a helluva race too. Unfortunately he’s also having to deny doping rather than being scolded for being so freaking skinny. Power to weight ratio you skeptical journalistic douchebags, it makes a difference. Just ask Jan.
-Christian Vande Velde is also riding nicely after having most of his bones broken in the Giro this year.

And finally…

If the nonsensical babbling above was cerebrally tantalizing in any form whatsoever then commit yourself to the flock and join me on Twitter! I promise I will disappoint.

Okay, that’s enough. I’m freaking tired. Until the next post.