I try not to be angry.
I try not to let things get to me. I mean, I really try.
When things get to me I become a knife’s edge.
It’s extremely noticeable when it’s regarding something I care about.
I get passionate.
I get adamant.
But when no one else is on the same wavelength as you, you just look/sound crazy.
They just tune you out, dismissing it that I’m “going off” again.
So I try not to get angry.
I try not to let things get to me.
But, why do I find myself, with increasing regularity, standing at the side or corner of a road looking/sounding crazy? Why am I yelling on the verge of screaming, “STOP!!” at motorists ignoring me in x-walks doing a right on red, when I have the right of way? And, the reason for this post, why am I standing partially in the lane of a x-walk facing oncoming traffic holding my child’s hand, looking/sounding crazy, yelling the same damn thing because NO ONE can bring themselves to stop their vehicle for us (you know, the law), IN FULL VIEW OF A POLICE OFFICER 20 FEET AWAY?!?!
The officer could have simply been off duty or a myriad of other reasons. But it simply made the situation all that more intolerable, making everything seem hopeless. If the cop won’t do anything, and motorists not giving any fux despite the police being right there, then what chance do we have to change anything? I’m standing in the street with my daughter. A child is second only to the elderly when it comes to vulnerable. You have to be a monumental piece of shit not to stop for old people and kids.
The problem is, other than them breaking the law and law enforcement doing nothing about it, it pisses me off. But it’s not just any kind of anger, thought, it’s blind, seething, pull someone out of their car and door-whip them rage. It affects me adversely, and it definitely affects Syd when she’s with me. I try not to see these things, but they’re happening all the time, all around me and it’s driving me crazy. I almost have to anesthetize myself by sheer will so I don’t react. But nearly every day I’m put into a position of danger or a life-threatening situation whether on bike or by foot, or hell, even in my car, and the indifference I’m met with by the offending party ignites that furious flame making me want to drop the hammer called RETRIBUTION on all of them.
I could keep going on this rant, but I think you get the point. It blows my mind we’re at a point where if we are outside of a motorized vehicle we have to defend ourselves and rights despite laws existing to protect us, but virtually no one obeys?
Okay, I’m probably starting to sound crazy…