Alright, let’s make this quick. I gotta get these done before the #ompoop really hits the faan. And by quick I mean, an image count that’s wildly out of control. This is another massive post, but luckily there’s break midway through before E3 starts. But, you’ll be so excited that you won’t be able to wait to finish this fantastic post.

Or, probably not.

Dwars Door Vlaandaren

Tasty midweek snack of Belgie racing.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Niki Breaking“Time time, for some time for some AKSHUN!!”

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Niki BreakingNiki and Jelle, riding in a break, p-e-d-a-l-i-n-g.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Terpstra Point BreakPoint break. Actually, it’s probably more like point gap, but break has the Keanu reference.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Go Niki Go!Terpstra begins the crushing, spectator begins the gesticulating.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Jered Be Shootin'This guy. Jered Gruber all out on the Paterberg and ****.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Flemish Truffula TreesMeanwhile, on the way to overwinnings—the last of the Flemish Truffula Trees…

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Terpstra Is WinnaarNiki has plenty of time to celebrate his solo win—then proceeds to throw commercial gang signs.

 

Sylvain Chavanel outsprints then awkwardly celebrates in front of Koen De Kort to round out the podium. Nice to see Koen on the podium—great effort. Unfortunately, he crashed badly a few days later.

 

E3 Prijs Vlaanderen – Harelbeke

Have to admit, E3 was a damn good race. The hellingen were more selective than those of the just-finished Gent-Wevelgem. Enough so, that I feel E3 should be given Classics status and GW relegated. But that’s just my opinion, and who cares.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Belgian TailgunnerBelgian Champion—also, a tailgunner.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Belgian TailgunnerPhilGil’s on the rear of the peloton more than Voeckler these days.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Height DopingOPQS height doping—advantage: Boonen

 

The Mounting of the Boonenberg

I don’t think I’ve EVER seen anyone attack the Tiaaenberg as fast as Tom Boonen did this time. While the attack didn’t destroy the field, it definitely set the precedent for the rest of the race.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - BoonenbergAttack begins—Tommeke’s already at warp speed.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - BoonenbergAt this point, he’s in full sprinter’s tuck—going uphill.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - BoonenbergTommeke pulls up a bit, but is still flying. Vanmarcke claws his way back to Boonen’s wheel.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Gilbert In The BackMeanwhile, at the back…

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Boonen and FabsUnfortunately, it didn’t get rid of THAT guy.

 

Hi-Viz Hi Jinx on the Paterberg

In addition to OPQS, Farnese-Vini also deserves team of the day. They were all over the place. They also did this:

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Hi-Viz Hi Jinx3 in a break. Wasn’t there a rap group called “Two in a Room?”

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Hi-Viz Hi JinxFarnese-Vini crew blasts onto the Paterberg, about to execute Operazione Gattopult.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Hi-Viz Hi JinxOperazione Gattopult is a go! Gatto is about to be released.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Hi-Viz Hi JinxBoom goes the kitteh! Gatto is released as his teammate cobbleblocks everyone behind.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Hi-Viz Hi JinxThe Gatto reaches escape velocity. Operazione Gattopult is a success.

 

Paterberg Tommeke

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Paterberg Tommeke18 seconds later…

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Paterberg TommekeRiiiight there—that’s where it bites. Tommeke catches the remnants of Operazione Gattopult. Fabs is creeping.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Paterberg TommekeAfter driving deep up the backside of the Paterberg, Boonen now shows us his baller climbing style.

 

Cancellara, the Oude Kwaremont, and the Wheel Change

For the most part Fabian hadn’t been a factor in the race. He changed that on the Kwaremont.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackFabs begins making the attacking with Tommeke in tow. Vanmarcke spots the Dark Lord.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackSep dives across for the Dark Lord’s wheel, but ends up cobbleblocking Tommeke.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackLike geese in migration formation, they line up behind the Dark leader.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackApparently, this paceline of geese is both strong and selective. Pippo the goose’s wing was broken not long ago—but he’s flying now.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackOh noez! The Dark Lord goose has pulled up lame. He wobbles and begins to slow…

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackThe geese are unaware one of their own has been dropped.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackJust off the Kwaremont, Fabs gets a wheel change. He and the mechanic are in a less than ideal position…

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackSeconds later, Carlos Barredo launches off the Kwaremont, crashing into the back of Fabs.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackCarlos broke his arm, while the mechanic suffered a broken nose and 25 stitches.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Fabs AttackAmazingly, Fabs remounted, chased, caught, and finished with the main bunch. However, he did not contest the sprint.

 

How the Race was Won™

People sprinted. Someone won. Several attempts were made to break away from the bunch to avoid a sprint, but to no avail.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Height DopingOPQS height doping—again.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Sep CrossingSep Vanmarcke has the confidence. Accelerating on the grass at pelotonal speeds.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Tommeke SprintsTommeke sprinting for the win just ahead of a charging Oscar Freire. Notice the sign in the back.

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Dwars Door Vlaanderen & E3 Prijs Vlaanderen - Harelbeke - Tommeke SprintsThere’s your E3 winnaars: Boonen, Freire, and a surprising Bernie Eisel.

 

  • Most excellent, as usual.