As I covered in my previous MORR post, albeit more than slightly disjointed and maniacal, things didn’t go quite the way the script was prewritten. In fact, I managed to only grab one shot of the beleaguered Team GB during the entire race.

Coincidence? Nah, I just can’t stand those white helmets.

But, screw all that. Here’s some shots I took from the comfort of my generic office chair and Galant Ikea desk.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Beautifully British

Wanted to snaark this with a Robin Hood/Renaissance Fair reference, but it’s simply beautifully British. Cheers!

 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Strange Sights

The spirit of the Olympics is sometimes just plain freakish looking.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Spectate Casual

“I don’t know—spectate casual.”

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Fabscrash

Scary moment that had the break looking back to see if Fabs was okay. Dude has NO luck this year.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Taking Inventroy

Fabian hangs his arm in pain while taking post-crash inventory.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Oh Hai, Tommeke

Oh hai, Tommeke. Sadly, this was one of the few times we saw the Belgian Kampioen.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - The Moment

Rigaberto and his mullet break to the right. Crafty Kazakh Vinokourov is the first to react.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - #SCHLECKNECKING

Everyone suddenly decides it’s a perfect time to imitate the disgraced Frändy Twinz.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Britishnicity

Love the scenery. Also, several of the sections in the final Ks looked as though they collectively said, “WTF?!”

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Chasing Group

More epicness. Final K, final straight, with the chasing group breathing down their necks.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Horizontal Paceline

Apparently, the best way to chase a break is to line up across the road, wildly attacking each other.

How The Race Was Won™ (HTRWW™) While Demonstrating How Not To Sprint For The Gold Medal

Ohhh Rigaberto. Now, forget the payoff accusations, the big question is: was he checking the break or trying to hear what his mullet was screaming to him? You know, because there weren’t any race radios and all.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Rigaberto Looks Once

Battling the Olympic roar of the crowd, the Columbian’s mullet screams to get his attention.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Mullet Tries Again

The mullet tries again, this time in the left ear. Uran clearly makes out, “THE BARRIERS YOU FOOL!! GET OVER TO THE BARRIERS!!”

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Sensing A Chance

Unfortunately for Rigaberto and his Directhair Sportif, Vino, being Eastern Bloc, also speaks the international language of the mullet.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Divergent Paths

As Uran suddenly recalls his Cat 4 sprinting tactics, Krafty the Kazakh summons the golden eagle of Astana, beginning his sprint for to make glory.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Against The Barriers

Moments later Rigaberto has finally sorted himself out along the barriers only to discover that Vino is #craftydoping.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - ¡¡Mierda!!

Uran, his Directhair Sportif, and la Nación de Columbia, cry out in unison, “¡¡MIERDA!!”

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Too Late

Yet, by this point the race was sealed. All that was left was Vino for to make victorious saluting.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Victorious Saluting

Victorious Saluting.

  • Derek

    A true one day “classic” long, scenic, challenging enough, huge well behaved crowds, & bizarre sad crashes.
    The favorites team mate a climber attacks on a downhill then as the finish approaches spends more time seeing where he has been and takes the schoolboy error prize along with a silver.
    Real live drama with a bandit finding gold.