As I covered in my previous MORR post, albeit more than slightly disjointed and maniacal, things didn’t go quite the way the script was prewritten. In fact, I managed to only grab one shot of the beleaguered Team GB during the entire race.
Coincidence? Nah, I just can’t stand those white helmets.
But, screw all that. Here’s some shots I took from the comfort of my generic office chair and Galant Ikea desk.
Wanted to snaark this with a Robin Hood/Renaissance Fair reference, but it’s simply beautifully British. Cheers!
The spirit of the Olympics is sometimes just plain freakish looking.
“I don’t know—spectate casual.”
Scary moment that had the break looking back to see if Fabs was okay. Dude has NO luck this year.
Fabian hangs his arm in pain while taking post-crash inventory.
Oh hai, Tommeke. Sadly, this was one of the few times we saw the Belgian Kampioen.
Rigaberto and his mullet break to the right. Crafty Kazakh Vinokourov is the first to react.
Everyone suddenly decides it’s a perfect time to imitate the disgraced Frändy Twinz.
Love the scenery. Also, several of the sections in the final Ks looked as though they collectively said, “WTF?!”
More epicness. Final K, final straight, with the chasing group breathing down their necks.
Apparently, the best way to chase a break is to line up across the road, wildly attacking each other.
How The Race Was Won™ (HTRWW™) While Demonstrating How Not To Sprint For The Gold Medal
Ohhh Rigaberto. Now, forget the payoff accusations, the big question is: was he checking the break or trying to hear what his mullet was screaming to him? You know, because there weren’t any race radios and all.
Battling the Olympic roar of the crowd, the Columbian’s mullet screams to get his attention.
The mullet tries again, this time in the left ear. Uran clearly makes out, “THE BARRIERS YOU FOOL!! GET OVER TO THE BARRIERS!!”
Unfortunately for Rigaberto and his Directhair Sportif, Vino, being Eastern Bloc, also speaks the international language of the mullet.
As Uran suddenly recalls his Cat 4 sprinting tactics, Krafty the Kazakh summons the golden eagle of Astana, beginning his sprint for to make glory.
Moments later Rigaberto has finally sorted himself out along the barriers only to discover that Vino is #craftydoping.
Uran, his Directhair Sportif, and la Nación de Columbia, cry out in unison, “¡¡MIERDA!!”
Yet, by this point the race was sealed. All that was left was Vino for to make victorious saluting.