“No matter how old you are feel look…”
“Achieve great things despite the years”
“Master’s Champion shocks field half his age”
“An old man enters a bike race, what happens next…”

For some reason, I had no idea Milan-San Remo 2014 Winnar, Alexander Kristoff, was a young’n. I thought he was a few heartbeats away from Pappy Horner. MSR is terrible for your complexion. If you’re ever in a spa, NEVER get the Sanremo facial.

Alright, let’s take a look at the profile.

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Note: In a perfect world, the “R” in RACING on the graphic above would start at the base of the Cipressa. So yeah, not to scale. If you’re paying attention, this scenario was covered in my MSR Ras Prep.

Let us pray—Merciful Merckx, GIF US NOW OUR WEEKLY RECAP!!

Milan-San Remo 2014: Didja Know Sean Kelly Won La Primavera Twice?!

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Status quo voor 85% of de ras.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Katusha giving his hand the R Kelly special.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Also status quo.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

This race literally sucks.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Preparing to get ready to rumble.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

ZOMG!! ACTUAL RACING!!

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

When Sharks Attack. Or, it’s precisely at this moment Vincenzo Nibali decides he wants to lose the race.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

It was at precisely this moment where Vincenzo Nibali looked like an absolute badass who was going to lose the race.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

It was precisely at this precise moment that Vincenzo Nibali knew he lost the race precisely. Also, definitively.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Dropping in on the Poggio. This is what a spayed and neutered race looks like. A proud Bob Barker would shed a tear.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

LAATSTE KILOMETER!! Katusha’s making moves. Still can’t believe it was the winning one…

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Sprint started from 700m out?! Long sprint in long Classic is long.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Suddenly, it was apparent to the favorites they weren’t going to cross the line first. Someone else was doing that first.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Alexander Kristoff crushing souls and winning Milan-San Remo 2014.

 

Screencap Recap: Milan-San Remo 2014

Someone is needing a planket.

  • http://www.nonprocycling.com/ norbs

    Excellent as usual.

    • Cycleboredom

      Grazie mille.

  • WTF Kits

    these are the best.

  • Caleb

    I enjoy these so much. Thanks for another great recap.