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Screencap Recap: Men’s Olympic Road Race

As I covered in my previous MORR post, albeit more than slightly disjointed and maniacal, things didn’t go quite the way the script was prewritten. In fact, I managed to only grab one shot of the beleaguered Team GB during the entire race.

Coincidence? Nah, I just can’t stand those white helmets.

But, screw all that. Here’s some shots I took from the comfort of my generic office chair and Galant Ikea desk.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Beautifully British
Wanted to snaark this with a Robin Hood/Renaissance Fair reference, but it’s simply beautifully British. Cheers!
 

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Strange Sights
The spirit of the Olympics is sometimes just plain freakish looking.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Spectate Casual
“I don’t know—spectate casual.”
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Fabscrash
Scary moment that had the break looking back to see if Fabs was okay. Dude has NO luck this year.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Taking Inventroy
Fabian hangs his arm in pain while taking post-crash inventory.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Oh Hai, Tommeke
Oh hai, Tommeke. Sadly, this was one of the few times we saw the Belgian Kampioen.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - The Moment
Rigaberto and his mullet break to the right. Crafty Kazakh Vinokourov is the first to react.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - #SCHLECKNECKING
Everyone suddenly decides it’s a perfect time to imitate the disgraced Frändy Twinz.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Britishnicity
Love the scenery. Also, several of the sections in the final Ks looked as though they collectively said, “WTF?!”
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Chasing Group
More epicness. Final K, final straight, with the chasing group breathing down their necks.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Horizontal Paceline
Apparently, the best way to chase a break is to line up across the road, wildly attacking each other.

How The Race Was Won™ (HTRWW™) While Demonstrating How Not To Sprint For The Gold Medal

Ohhh Rigaberto. Now, forget the payoff accusations, the big question is: was he checking the break or trying to hear what his mullet was screaming to him? You know, because there weren’t any race radios and all.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Rigaberto Looks Once
Battling the Olympic roar of the crowd, the Columbian’s mullet screams to get his attention.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Mullet Tries Again
The mullet tries again, this time in the left ear. Uran clearly makes out, “THE BARRIERS YOU FOOL!! GET OVER TO THE BARRIERS!!”
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Sensing A Chance
Unfortunately for Rigaberto and his Directhair Sportif, Vino, being Eastern Bloc, also speaks the international language of the mullet.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Divergent Paths
As Uran suddenly recalls his Cat 4 sprinting tactics, Krafty the Kazakh summons the golden eagle of Astana, beginning his sprint for to make glory.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Against The Barriers
Moments later Rigaberto has finally sorted himself out along the barriers only to discover that Vino is #craftydoping.
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - ¡¡Mierda!!
Uran, his Directhair Sportif, and la Nación de Columbia, cry out in unison, “¡¡MIERDA!!”
Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Too Late
Yet, by this point the race was sealed. All that was left was Vino for to make victorious saluting.

Cycleboredom | Screencap Recap: Men's Olympic Road Race - Victorious Saluting
Victorious Saluting.

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    #LOLympics Road Race

    Neue Boredom