I was contacted by Assos’ PR firm in September of the year of our Merckx, 2013 and requested to attend the official Interbike s7 release. Needless to say I was stoket, but I also was conflict. Why stoket and conflict? I was stoket because Assos. I was conflict because of my feelings re: Assos Girl, Assos Guy, and because I was berated by the British Assos PR lady after declaring sexy Assos Girl is unnecessary to sell cycling clothing.

I avoided posting the first press release ‘cuz verbatim ain’t Boredom’s steez. And despite being invited to their kuKuPenthouse suite in Mandalay Bay to get the personal lowdown on the nieuw bibs (especially the kuKu), I avoided jumping on the “holy-shit-Assos-me-too” train. Besides, posting anything during Interbike is like throwing confetti into wind-tunnel fan and forcing the public to catch pieces in their mouths and hoping one of those pieces is your inconceivably original press release review.

Regardless, I was blown away by what they threw at me. The nieuw bib line addresses nearly all of my complaints about all current bibs on the market. Now that I’ve got them in my hands, we’ll see whether they live up to the stupefying hype or not.

Below is my unboxing of the press/shop kit for the Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts ($270USD). Assos sez: “T.ÉQUIPE is our racingFit proposition. They are perfectly tailored to fit a racing type cycling body. A little more compression, a little snugger fit and a more anatomically shaped insert. These are the preferred shorts of ÉQUIPE EXPLOIT, the ASSOS Werksmannschaft. They’re the ideal equipment for frequent riders and racing.”

Follow along on on Twitter/Instagram/Facebook/Flickr as I test the Assos T.Équipe Bibshorts.

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

 First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts

First Look: Assos T.Équipe_s7 Bibshorts