Having been at peak physical perfection voor most of 2013 w/out a cold my luck and resistance finally succumbed, just in time voor DCCX 2013. Various trivial/not trivial reasons prevent me from attending all races except voor DCCX so the cold suckage scores high on amplitude when the two collide.

Regardless, I loaded up my All-City Low-Profile pack with the essentials v0or the cross town voyage and subsequent documentation and headed out, coughing then entire way.

I arrived, throat raw from breathing dry, gritty city air, my cold-fatigued legs shaking after the 14 mile journey through sections of DC where, not more than 10 years ago, I once would’ve been relieved of my possessions. Apres hacking up one laatste lung-ball, I headed instantly to the Staples Corner Liquors beer tent in order to sort out my painfully crippling introversion as well as my painfully crippling throat. Then it was straight over to the Crosshairs Cycling tent to meet up with the inimitable @WTFKits himself.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13ALL THE DRUMZ.

Batala DC was settin’ things off just as I got there. Wicked start to the rest of the day. The Vine below does their skill no justice whatsoever.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Not an optical illusion, race emcee @CXHairs is as tall as that light post.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13‘DAT WTFKITS SHIRT. Oh, you like?

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13WTFKits rocking The Athletic’s PDX Airport Carpet Socks. So nice.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Service Course Wash Kit in the wild! This one’s voor JTJ.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Speaking of JTJ, here’s his sweet green Lobster.

Actual Racing – Sexy Singles

If I was doing race report for one of those fancy cycling news websites, I might want to write something to the effect of “most hotly contested race” or “bragging rights were on the line”, but I’m not and I won’t. Nonetheless, racing was on the line in the form of Chris Rabadi and Sean O’Donnell hotly bragging the most contesting rights by measuring their gear inches in front of a captivated crowd.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Cupcake bro is also a KINDHUMAN. Although, that’s probably a redundant statement.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Borat jumping to make for benefit of spectators.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13These two, hotly contesting.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13No time voor cupcakes! Bragging rights are on the line!

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13JTJ throwing down some hot laapz.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Meanwhile, at the kop van de wedstrijd…

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13WTFKits competing in the achtervolger category.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Rabadi’s win from an artistic POV. And by artistic POV I mean Baja Fresh tent.

3/4 Race Means We’re 3/4 Through

It goes without saying this race was hotly contested. So hotly that BROS COULDN’T HOLD THEIR LINES THEREBY CRASHING FOOLS. I didn’t get a shot of the crashings but it was gnarly and in the first minute and at the front of the race. 

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Puttin’ in werk. Unfortunately, one of the only lady’s CX shots I got—arrived too late.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Bragging rights, hotly contested.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Mmmmm, ‘DAT RIDLEY.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Nick pushing WATTS and crushing cobbles!!

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13If Sagan raced CX.

Uno/Dos/Tres Race

Yeah, we’re not done. The main event was hotly contested as bragging rights were on the line.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX131/2/3 field rolling, Crosshairs Larry flatbarring.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Guess who’s back?!

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Hot action. Or, man in nice suit admiring another nice suit.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Awesome megaphone kid heckling Jered Nieters is awesome.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13So many dusts. They make my throat so parched.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13This makes for helping of parching. Free is making for better! Thanks voor de Dales, Staples.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13And by bragging rights I mean that wicked hawt SUPER 8 LEADER’S MAILLOT!!

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Timmy Rugg raising the PRO game to another level. Full-squish CXing makes fer thirsty werk.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Being a shark out of water is thirsty werk, too. Drink shark, drink!!

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Go now, Batman. Give the mariachis a monetary donation.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Nicely done.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Moments later…

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Nothing left to the imagination here, CX fans.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13T-Rugg decided to get hella serious pitting the squish for a proper CXer. This is called a Rugg Mugg.

Winning move by Nick Waite over Nieters on LAATSTE RONDE!!

Apres The Race Comes The Apres Party

Completely missing the finish of de ras voor bragging rights I made my way up to the podium presentation which I also promptly missed. But I did get a shot of Weston Schempf sitting on the ground con cervezas doble.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13Weston con cervezas doble.

Granted, there’s not much of an apres party, it’s more like packing all your shit together and preparing for the semi-lengthy ride back to Arlington. Although, I will admit the ride is fantastic. Sunday evening in the District in early fall is magnificent. It also helps that it’s mostly downhill.

The Not A Race Recap Of DCCX13The now annual “Peregrine Espresso shots to get me home” ritual.

 
Okay, so, it *was* a recap. Until next jaar.

  • http://cycling.norbtech.com/ norbs

    Unbelievably unbelievable!

    Terrific stuff.